Only Tell Me Twice Rule

Improving communications

I want to jump into my first proper post with a management rule that I developed six years ago.  It is no exaggeration on my part that this rule was the most useful reflection I have ever made on management and has given me the necessary confidence to be successful in more recent roles.

I originally (jokingly) called the rule Wildbore’s first rule of management.  That worked in small business settings where I was often approaching a state of exasperation.  For a wider audience who can’t see my facial expression, I have renamed the rule “Only Tell Me Twice”.

If you pinned me down and asked me what the most important individual trait was for being successful, I would offer up good communication skills.  Most other individual traits, such as being good at working in a team or being decisive, rely heavily on good communication skills.  If you can communicate effectively (verbally, non-verbally and written) you create a platform to master everything necessary in business (and probably life).

The Only Tell Me Twice rule can be described like this: if you explain something to me the first time and I don’t understand it, then I will take responsibility and chalk it up to a distraction of some sort.  If, when you explain something for a second time, I still don’t understand it, then I back myself as being smart enough that I am not the problem.  In this instance either you can’t communicate effectively, or you don’t understand what you are trying to communicate, or both.

I always offer caveats to this rule.  For instance, none of the businesses I have worked for operate a rocket-science division.  But even these divisions need to explain what they do to shareholders and stakeholders.  The better they are at communicating to those without specialist knowledge, the more likely they are to realize their goals. 

As mentioned above, I developed the rule about six years ago and this coincided with a shift in my career out of a finance role into a general management role.  Even in my finance days I always took pride in being able to communicate effectively with non-finance staff.  When I became a general manager, I immediately felt the pressure trying to manage a line-of-business with sales, marketing, communications, legal and operations teams. This rule helped in several ways.

Firstly, I needed to focus and engage my listening skills.  This rule implies a shared responsibility with my team for my comprehension of what was going on in the business. I needed to ensure I was holding up my end of the bargain.  What does this mean?  I made sure I was fully present in meetings and electronic devices were silenced or put away.  I would reflect information back to team members in my own words to make sure I understood it correctly and I would ask probing questions.  That last one can be the most unnerving for some people and I go to great lengths to assure staff that the questions are primarily for my understanding.  I will address this more in future blog posts as the freedom to challenge ideas robustly can lead to much better decision-making.

Secondly, I was able to quickly identify which staff were failing to communicate effectively.  The rule gave me the confidence I needed to push back firmly against communications that made no sense rather than fostering unproductive self-doubt in my own comprehension.  Probing questions would usually reveal which category a member of staff had fallen into (poor communication skills or lack of understanding).  This is a great outcome as it enables a manager to establish development goals for team members that will improve overall performance (and assist them throughout their career).

Thirdly, it gives all staff a clear direction of what is required of them.  Communications is not just the dissemination of information; it is the curation of information for a target audience that enables that audience to understand it and act if necessary.  When you are working with a manager, this rule forces you to think about what that manager needs to know and how to communicate it in the most effective way. 

The more this goal is adopted and socialized, the better the performance of the overall team.  It compliments other communication hacks (i.e. choosing the most effective method of communication, word limits, optimal timing). 

Anyone can improve their communication skills, but it is also true that it comes more naturally to some than others.  At this point I suspect there will be questions about different personality types identified under assessment tools like Myers Briggs.  These assessments can be helpful, particularly if you know the way your manager or colleague likes to receive information, but they do not exempt you from the obligation to communicate effectively.

I hope that I have communicated a rule about communication clearly.  If I haven’t, then please let me know and I will add it to my objectives for the year.  If you have read this and have thoughts or comments, please let me know below. 

Next week’s blog is on the one goal that everyone should strive for in their jobs.