What is and isn't a work event

This is part two of my loosely themed “authenticity at work” series.  Last week I argued that you should speak up in meetings to demonstrate your abilities.  This week I argue that we should be cognizant of what is and isn’t a work event and moderate how we act accordingly.  Times have changed and this blog post contains advice that I have not always followed in my youth.  I believe that we should treat all work events in a way that doesn’t negatively impact our careers.  To some this may seem obvious, to others it may seem a bit prudish, and I don’t want to suggest that there isn’t a place for relaxing and enjoying the company of the people we interact with on a daily basis.  Instead, I want to urge caution and a level of self-control, so that the degree to which we kick-back is a conscious choice and not an accident.

Back in the Noughties London was a very fun and sociable place to work.  The old cliche of “work hard, play hard” felt accurate in a decade where the combination of a growing economy, growing wages, low inflation and low unemployment often translated into a vibrant post-work drinking culture.  The Christmas parties in the big media companies operating in London were a key part of the culture.   

I remember two incidents in consecutive years.  The first involved an innocent-looking photo booth that staff could dress up with props and collect a strip of four photos with friends.  It was modelled as an old-fashioned booth with the photos printed and dropped in the little window outside.  At some point in the evening a couple of colleagues, a little merry on alcohol, who were also having an affair, jumped in the booth and took four private photographs.  How did anyone come to find out about this?  The company, in breach of all privacy regulations, posted all the festive photos on the intranet the next day.  I didn’t even know the two employees involved, but a member of my team excitedly passed on the gossip the next day.  The photos had been removed an hour later, but the damage to reputations had been done.

The second event happened the following year.  I was called to the front because a young member of my team had got so drunk they could barely talk.  I was asked for his home address so that he could be sent home in a taxi.  I had only just become his manager, and I didn’t know where he lived.  In any case, by the time I got to the front he had vanished.  The next day he sheepishly made it into the office by midday.  He had been picked up by the booze bus (an ambulance run by the local council to pick up people in Soho that are so intoxicated there is a real risk to their wellbeing).  He had been taken to a sobering up facility and discharged in the morning.  As funny as it was as he recounted his experience (and I asked whether we owed anything for the care he had received), it was hard to escape the fact that the outcome could have been far worse.

A friend worked in the Tech industry and like most tech companies each year they host an event which includes lavish entertainment for clients.  Each year the new intake of recruits is reminded that this is a workplace event and that they are there to ensure that their clients get the most from the experience.  Every year ten to twenty new recruits are fired the following week for getting drunk and acting inappropriately.

The division I worked for at one company was frequently entertained by a key supplier.  They had already won our business, so this wasn’t a direct conflict of interest.  Having said that they would often wait until later in the evening to suggest additional services they could provide us.  I went to one event, and it wasn’t to my taste.  I worked in Finance at the time and felt uncomfortable with the set-up and the potential for future conflicts of interest.  I chose to miss the following Christmas party where one of their staff got drunk, turned round and punched a member of our staff for accidentally bumping into him on the dance floor.  I have never seen an instant dismissal on the dancefloor, but everyone in attendance that evening did.  Unfortunately, this meant that the supplier wanted to spend even more money on us to make up for the incident and I had to find excuses for missing subsequent events.

I could add many more anecdotes and examples of inappropriate or offensive conduct or the additional burden placed on staff for a colleague’s wellbeing that goes above and beyond their roles and responsibilities.  I am sure most people have witnessed similar.  

There is a lot wrapped up in these examples, but I think it boils down to a duty of care between the employer and its staff and a responsibility on us as individuals to separate out “work events” from our private lives and to act accordingly.  Much worse examples of poor behavior by employees have been publicized in recent years where abuses of power have made some workplaces unsafe or unpleasant.  Companies have a duty of care to ensure that their workplace is a safe working environment.  Unfortunately bringing large organizations together to celebrate the end of the calendar year with unlimited alcohol has a significant risk attached.  Even as someone who enjoyed the parties in my 20s, I look back with a certain bewilderment that these were ever a thing.  As a manager working overseas for the last 13 years, I feel a lot more comfortable with smaller events where it is easier to balance celebration whilst ensuring a safe working environment. 

The responsibility of individuals is also important.  How we are and how we act in front of colleagues is very much our own choice and our own responsibility.  Knowing our limits and knowing the acceptable limits of behavior are important.  Drawing a clear distinction between a work-event or a private event is helpful.  The line will be drawn differently for different people, but what follows is my own distinction.  If the event is paid for by work or organized by work, it is a work event.  It continues to be a work event until you have you left and may still be a work event if you have left with colleagues.  If you are out with colleagues that you normally wouldn’t meet outside of work, I would argue that in most cases this is also a work event.  This doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, but just means that you have a responsibility for how you represent yourself and your own conduct.

I am sure that most people look back and point to events where they wished they had acted differently.  I am no different in this regard and suspect it is a normal part of life and growing up.  For many years I have tried to be more intentional at work events.  I have witnessed the dramatic impact of a poor decision on friend’s careers and also witnessed where a poor decision had no impact at all.  Its very hard to predict the ramifications of poor decision, so trying to limit them and retain a healthy degree of control feels like the best response.

Next week is the final part of the series and I will try and pull it together into something that makes sense.  I received some questions after last week’s post on how to speak up in meetings and I will cover this off in the post in two weeks time.